


Fine Line

by jade_lil



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst/Romance, Arashi - Freeform, M/M, Ohmiya - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2017-11-26 09:04:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/648905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jade_lil/pseuds/jade_lil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nino looked up, lips quivering at the coldness, but decided it was still fairly easy to conquer than having to bear the pain of losing Ohno everyday; it’s not going to kill him this way, the same way losing Ohno would</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fine Line

**Author's Note:**

> Ohmiya break up fic. YES.

He didn’t know how long he had been there, a few minutes, maybe an hour, he couldn’t remember anymore; the only thing he remembered was the urge to see Ohno so badly as he acted on instinct alone and drove all the way to Ohno’s apartment in the middle of the night. 

He didn’t even know if Ohno was home, or if he was even ready to let Ohno see him like this. It was hard giving in to these emotions when he was the one who had shoved Ohno away; but it had been months, and he was sure Ohno’s doing fine on his own – was finally able to breathe freely without having anyone to think about before he acted on anything. 

He just – _well_ , he just missed Ohno so much it hurts. 

He should have known better than to allow these emotions get the better part of him, but god knows he tried; he didn’t want to be this weak person that he was now, but he guessed there wasn’t anything he could do but to accept the fact that he failed. 

He was temporarily blinded by an overhead light, backing away into the shadows as he shivered; he realized then that the light was coming from the cab that stopped in front of Ohno’s apartment. It was still pouring hard, the rain had barely ceased from the time he arrived here and he already felt like he’d been slowly melting from the inside. 

The passenger’s door opened abruptly, and a moment later Ohno came out. Nino had to literally guard himself, just barely, enough to keep himself from running over the older man and greeting him straight, because Nino knew that doing that would certainly make things awkward the next day they see each other.

It wasn’t like they haven’t been seeing each other at work for Nino to feel this indescribable amount of longing, because they do – but still, the seldom times Nino felt like seeing Ohno and driving himself here when no one ever expected him to give in to that pulsating need, was the only time Nino had allowed himself to feel, to allow this _thing_ \-- this _pain_ that had been the only thing that kept Nino alive for the past couple of months of simply existing without Ohno. 

Ohno half-run to the front of his apartment, keys already in hand, his hair sticking out from the cap he’s fond of wearing when he’s traveling, the same one Nino bought for him as a gift when Nino came back from America. It made Nino’s stomach churned with familiar waves of nausea, of longing and warmth, and the urge to run over there to wrap Ohno in his arms, enough to simply bury his face through the older man’s hair as he inhaled the older man’s scent the way he used to. 

He didn’t realize he was crying and was only able to catch up on his surroundings when he suddenly found it very hard to breath, clutching his chest as he tried desperately to calm himself, enough to draw air back into his lungs. 

Nino didn’t know what had happened, but then the next instant he looked up Ohno wasn’t moving from where he was standing in front of his apartment door, eyes wide and wild as he stared ahead to where Nino was standing; Nino was sure Ohno couldn’t see him, what with the darkness and the heavy rains but then every single thought were wiped out of Nino’s brain when Ohno all but threw everything he hand in his hands and jogged quickly to where Nino was. 

Nino felt like his heart stopped beating right then and there. 

He was drenched in rain water, shivering lightly as he huddled onto himself; Ohno had stopped just in front of him, just watching him, the rain still pouring hard around them. Nino wanted to reach out, to touch the few days’ stubbles scattered around Ohno’s chin but stopped himself short when Ohno visibly flinched and backed away. 

But the darkness made him feel a lot braver, the almost noisy sound of each raindrop hitting the pavement made Nino feel like he could say anything he’d been meaning to say and actually get away with it without feeling like he’s the world’s biggest jerk. 

“Ohchan,” Nino started, almost mentally congratulating himself for not stuttering, although he could feel his chin quiver, his hands and toes felt like they’ve been buried in ice for hours. He also realized that at this point, anything could happen and he wouldn’t even dare think of running away, not when he finally gathered enough strength to stand before Ohno and maybe, just maybe, Ohno would allow him the chance to finally utter his apologies.

 

“Why are you here?” Ohno asked gravely, almost cruelly and Nino felt like death’s just looming around the corner, and was just seconds away from snatching the life out of him; right now, he knew he needed this temporary moment of braveness to get through this night alive, at least until he – “you look like you’ve been here since forever, _god_ , Nino, what the fuck do you think you’re doing? Are you trying to kill yourself?!” 

Nino looked up, lips quivering at the coldness, but decided it was still fairly easy to conquer than having to bear the pain of losing Ohno everyday; it’s not going to kill him this way, the same way losing Ohno would. 

“I just, w-well, I just wanted to see you… just wanted to check how you’re doing, if you’re okay –“ 

Ohno chuckled, exasperated but his eyes softened visibly afterwards. It was only then that Nino realized that Ohno was holding an umbrella, shielding the both of them from the still pouring rain. Nino shivered again, hugging himself. 

“I don’t even know what to say to you,” Ohno murmured, shaking his head, like he could no longer decide whether to be annoyed at Nino or simply let Nino do what he wanted. But Nino didn’t come here to be regarded just like that, because for once, his head was clear enough to make sense. “didn’t we just see each other yesterday? And if I remember it correctly, it was you who said you wanted to be –“ Ohno paused, biting his lips and scratching the back of his nape as if he’d realized he’d said enough. “Listen, Nino, I don’t know what in hell you’re thinking coming here now – it’s just, well, we’re okay right? We’ve been doing okay, so I don’t know what –“ 

“I want you back,” Nino blurted out, loud enough to take over the sound of the roaring thunder and loud enough for Ohno to stumble back, gaping. 

“What?” 

“You heard me,” Nino replied bravely, looking up. He didn’t want to regret this now, but that look on Ohno’s face was probably enough to make him run, but he stopped himself. 

It’s this or it’s letting Ohno go; Nino’s heart still screamed for the first choice, even though he knew it’d be hard. 

“Y-You – you can’t be serious,” Ohno gritted, stunned, the pain from months coming back in full force and Nino wished there was an easier way to end this, but he knew there weren’t. “it was you who said we’re over… you said you didn’t want anything to – it was you who said that we’re done, finished…” 

“S-Satoshi,” 

“No!” Ohno drew back, throwing the umbrella aside and biting at his lower lip like he’s trying not to hit Nino. “Y-You – d-don’t – j-just, I don’t know what is wrong with you! Y-You – w-weren’t you the one who said you wanted out?! You said you didn’t love me anymore!” Ohno screamed. 

Nino took two steps forward, grabbed Ohno’s hand tightly. 

“Well, I lied!” Nino screamed back, swallowing the lump blocking his throat. He didn’t want to cry, not now, he knew how important this moment was, and crying would only make him look like a fool, more than he already was. “I lied, Ohchan,” he repeated, softer this time, and trusting Ohno to understand that he meant it. “I love you, okay? I never stopped loving you, even when I said I didn’t anymore….” 

“B-But –“ 

“Please Ohchan,” he begged, throwing his arms around Ohno’s trembling form, borrowing the warmth that had been robbed from him since that night he told Ohno to leave. Ohno hugged him back briefly before pulling back, peeling Nino’s arms off him and crouching down to retrieve the umbrella he had thrown earlier, handing it to Nino. “O-Ohchan?” 

Ohno looked badly beaten, small and so fragile; he spared Nino a smile before leaning in to press a soft kiss against the corners of Nino’s mouth. 

“I’d have to ask you to leave this time around, Nino,” Ohno whispered shakily, and Nino wished he have the power to erase Ohno’s pain, if he could. “I still love you too, but for now, I need to do this alone, to heal on my own... so please, Nino..” 

“Ohchan – I’m s-sorry,” 

Ohno pulled him into his arms once again, kissing his temple, his cheeks, his hair before letting him go. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Kazu,” he said and walked away.

_I love you. I love you so much._

 


End file.
